As I sat in the car at the patient pick-up, waiting for my loved one to be brought out of the hospital, my mind was deep in thought over what I had just witnessed in the recovery room. I wondered which family that had been in the surgical family waiting room with us was soon to find out that their loved one had died while they sat there, living life like everything was fine. Maybe it was a risky but necessary surgery, maybe it was a routine procedure, maybe they knew it might happen, but maybe they thought their lives would be the same that afternoon as they were that morning.
My heart grieved for them as I prayed, my heart grieved for the doctor that would be telling them, for the girl who sat at the desk and called out names of family members when their loved one's surgery was complete... that she would have to call their names as if everything was fine... maybe they don't tell that girl... I could never pull it off. I thought about how easily it could have been us, how you just never know when your "See you later" is really a goodbye.
A car pulled up behind me and brought me out of my trance. I glanced in the rear view mirror at the young man behind the wheel and wondered who he was waiting for. I hoped he was there to fetch his brand new baby and sure enough, he was. I watched him gingerly put the car seat into the car and buckle it in, then I watched the nurse and his wife check to make sure he had done it right. They hugged the nurse and pulled away, on to their new life that will now be different than it was the day before.
My eye caught a teenager at the bus stop, headphones in his ears, dancing happily to the music as he waited. Then a young woman in pink scrubs hurried past him, intent on a destination, with hair dyed to match her scrubs. I couldn't help but smile. The sky was blue, the sun was out, the breeze was blowing. And then I saw the American flag on a pole, half of it tangled up around the pole while the other half waved freely in the breeze, and I thought it was a perfect example of America right now. Half the people have their shorts all twisted up while the other half are floating on air and I wondered if any of them know it's not always that great and it's not always that bad, it's only what you make it and you should do your best to make it great for others, not harder for them.
In the span of 5 minutes I witnessed life and death, felt joy and sorrow, saw pleasure in the waiting and haste in the tight schedule. I saw Americans bound and Americans free. In my grieving for this unknown family, there was still sunshine on my face. In the span of 5 minutes I suddenly saw how amazing and awful this world can be at the same moment, how joy and sorrow can exist at the same time, even in the same person, even in me.
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