father's day blessing

My dad died when I was 12 and to this day it has been the most horrific and heartbreaking thing in my life. I still cry about it, still miss him and always will. Father's Day is always a difficult day for me but today was especially hard because it is also my dad's birthday. At church this morning a man sang the Cinderella song by Steven Curtis Chapman. "I'll dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms. Cause all to soon the clock will strike midnight and she'll be gone." That song just slays me because I know too well that it can happen the other way around. While he sang they had a slide show on the overhead of daddy/daughter pictures that church people submitted (my husband and girls as well). I cried through the whole thing and for 20 minutes afterward. There were pictures of dads being part of so many memorable events in their daughter's lives like graduation or their wedding, things I never got to share with my dad. But as I sat there, God in his ever so gracious way reminded me of the blessing I did have.

When I was 16 I had a girlfriend and I met her father for the first time. She was a year younger than me but her brother was in my grade. We graduated high school together, her brother and I, and their dad was there. He saw me walk across the stage and get my diploma. When my first baby was born and I was alone and rejected, he was there to offer support and hope. When I got married, he was there at my wedding, he saw me walk down the isle. When my other babies were born, he held them, he rocked them and he has loved all of them all of their lives. That man has been a close part of my life for 31 years and he has been witness to, counselor of, encourager, helper and friend in so many of the most important moments I've experienced. He has also been, for the last 20 of those 31 years, my step-dad. He loves my mother with all his heart, he loves me as if I am his own and he has been the only grandfather my children have ever known. I am so grateful for him and I made sure to tell him that today.

God always has a plan in each of our lives, even when we can't imagine what it might be. I didn't know when I graduated, or when I got married, that my "Poppy" as my sister and I lovingly call him, was already there, but God knew and He chose today, this most difficult of all days for me, to remind me of the fact that I have never been without an earthly father or a Heavely Father.

PS ~ You can check out Steven Curtis Chapman, who lost his daughter all to soon, and his song, Cinderella, on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLYxtuC0oRk

need flowers . . .

It seems as if spring is taking as long to arrive as my bathroom. My yard is still full of snow but in a little bare patch, poking up among the dead grass and leaves that didn't get raked, are some beautiful little crocus and it made me think . . . What if a few pretty flowers blossomed in my bathroom that is still full of paint cans and tools? It works outside, I just shift my gaze from snow to blooms and it makes me smile so why not put that practice to work inside.

I got the flowers and vase at a fantastic 60% off sale and with the deals I got, this little beauty cost me less than $15.00 to put together and I'm ecstatic! I'm so happy with the way it turned out. Unfortunately there is too much light in the bathroom to get a picture that shows the colors well. Too bad to because the walls are the most happy shade of blue called Veronica. Now all I have to do is shift my gaze from stir stick and pipe wrench to blossom and wren and I'm smiling!

oh to take a bath. . .

Our tub has been sitting in the laundry room for a year now. Yes, the same tub in the laundry room that housed our baby chicks until they were big enough to move into the barn and proceed to burn it to the ground! The same tub that held up all my starter veggies that ended up dying because my garden burned up with the barn! Yes, that tub. That beautiful, cast iron, claw foot tub that we have soaked away the worries and the pain of the day in. The tub that echoed with laughter as it washed away the dirt from chubby baby necks and squiggly toes. The tub that overflowed with fun and water as rambunctious kids and bathing dogs frolicked and played.

That tub has monumental history as do all childhood tubs where love and laughter abound. I know that 'things' are just 'things', but they are the stuff of memories. Upon returning to my childhood home a few years ago, the bathroom, which was still the same by the way, brought back a flood of happy memories as I thought of all the times my sister and I shared that tub as little girls.

Soon, our memory maker tub will be returning to it's rightful position after a year long hiatus, with a fresh coat of enamel and shiny new faucet. Granted, there will be no echoing of little children laughing and splashing but I know that I'm ready for a good long soak and one day . . . oh yes, one day there will be grandchildren.